Saturday, November 3, 2012

A year later...

A doctor dumbed it down for me...a kid between the ages of 6-12 getting a concussion...their brain is roughly the size of a baseball inside a skull the size of a cantaloupe.  When they suffer a head injury there is a great deal of space and fluid between the skull and brain making the impact quite severe.  Once a boy goes through puberty, their brain is larger and there is less room between it and the skull decreasing the impact of a head on hit...make since???

After a great summer, in September, Clay's headaches came back with a vengeance.  Why now?  I don't know???

He went on a weekend church trip to Epworth, the minute he got off the bus I knew something was really wrong.  He spent the next 3 days in the den, on the sofa, in the dark, curtains drawn...horrible, horrible headache.  Day 4, I called his neurologist and he diagnosed it as a migraine (which I had already figured out.)  He prescribed him a crazy (and scary to me) migraine cocktail.  This cocktail consist of a steroid, 330 mg of naproxisodium, 400mg of magnesium and 5 mg of Magsalt.  We were told to repeat the Magsalt if the headache was not gone in 2 hours but not to give him this cocktail more than 3 times in one week.  After 2 hours, he was not much better.  In the meantime, I had googled all these drugs and decided I knew better than the doctor and was too chicken to give him anymore.  The following day started like the past 4 so I decided to give him all the drugs and come hell or high water I was not going to chicken out.  It was truly someone turned on a light switch.  Less than an hour after the second dose of Magsalt, Clay was up and as nuts and active as ever.  It was like the 5 days of suppressed energy had to come out.  We went to the grocery store, the mall and out to lunch.  It was a great day.  The next day was just as good without any medication.   My synopsis was, that he was now going to be prone to having migraines as a consequence of his concussion and PCS last year.  I hated that, but felt like we had the medication to deal with it.   The following Monday he was back at school and all was normal and great.

Fast forward a week.  Brantlee took all of our children camping for the weekend.  The minute Clay walked in the door, I could tell he was not doing good.  He showered, laid around and went to bed.  He woke up Monday morning and went to school.  The nurse called me at 10:00 to come and pick him up.  That was October 15.  He has been home ever since (with a few exceptions of a couple of attempts that didn't last more than an hour or two.)   Since then we have been back to Macon to meet with his neurologist and have started daily medication.  He has good hours and bad hours, good days and bad days.  Dr. Trasmontey told us it would take about 2 weeks for the medication to really start working.  Well, we are on day 12 of the medication.  

We have also seen Dr. Davis Kinny who discovered a severe misalignment in his C2 and C3 vertebrae.   He explained it like a kink in a water hose.  The spinal fluid and blood flow to the brain is not moving as it should.  With a misalignment like this headaches are imminent because of the pooling of blood in the brain and the added pressure.  With the tightness of Clay's neck muscles, he is certain his neck has been like this for a year, since his concussion.  He had severe neck pain for a week after the hit and the doctors called it whiplash.  It never crossed my mind to have a neck x-ray.  Between Dr. Trasmontey's medication and Dr. Kinny's adjustments...I am hopeful that things are slowly getting better.

As of now, we are presuing Hospital Home Bound through the school system.  He wants to go back to school so bad!!!  He misses his friends, he misses his life, he is tired of these walls we live in.   Dr. Trasmontey explained his headaches in a very interesting way.  He said, sending a kid to school in Clay's condition is like sending a kid to PE with a broken leg.  Thinking, concentrating, reading only triggers worse headaches...just like a kid with a broken leg playing kickball would be extremely painful, difficult and cause further damage.

All that being said...we are closer to him getting better today than we were yesterday.  I am so hopeful that he will continue to improve.   In the meantime, I wonder how in the world I landed here, a year later still dealing with his brain injury, on Hospital Home blows my mind and breaks my heart to see him like this.   However,  if me telling Clay's story helps one child or changes one parents mind about their child playing football....I will continue to do it.

Honestly, I love the emails I have gotten from mother's telling me they did not allow their son to play football because of hearing Clay's story.  My all time favorite was the email I received from  a mom who told me that her husband was mad at me and that they got in a big fight because of this blog and Clay's story.  

I know there is a huge chance your son could play football from the time they are 6-18 and nothing happen....but the stories, studies and medical proof is coming to's a BRUTAL sport!!!
Everyone has their soap box....THIS IS MINE!

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Football and your son's

This post is for all my friends who are debating whether or not to let their son's play football this fall.  There are so many worse scenarios than ours but it has forever changed my thoughts, fears and opinions about football.  If you saw me at Target today, I have my FSU t-shirt on.  I LOVE football season!!!  BUT---- do the research.  There is nothing new under the sun with football....studies are just coming to light and concussions are a very popular topic for the media.  BUT...when you know better you should do better.  Get informed, get educated and make the best choice for your son!! 

If interested, read my blog starting back last September.

For us, football is out for now.  One year later Clay is still dealing with the aftermath of this. 

Thursday, April 26, 2012

For my children...

Today is Clay's 10th birthday.  Last night I was telling him what it was like to be pregnant with him. I was telling him what I was doing the night before he was born and how shocked we were to find out about him.  I realized that my memories were slipping and I wanted to write them down before I forgot all the funny, crazy and bazaar things that happened while I was pregnant with's long and if you are not one of my children, it may bore you....but here it I remember it....

Lawson & Logan's pregnancy...We lived in our first home, 510 Whippoorwill Road.  Russell Suber was coming to visit for the weekend.  I decided to take a pregnancy test before we went out to dinner and bowling.  It was negative so I poured myself a glass of wine.  Before we left the house, Brantlee went to the restroom.  I heard him yell my name.   I went to check on him and found him standing in the middle of the bathroom, holding the pregnancy test he had pulled out of the trash can.  It had turned positive...apparently I did not wait long what?    We went on with our weekend not wanting to say anything until we processed it ourselves or told our families.  As most of my friends know, I am an open book and have a terrible time keeping my mouth shut.  I was concerned Russell thought we were less then hospitable and basically acting like freaks most of the weekend, so of course I told him, he was the first to know.  It seemed right, after all, he is the reason Brantlee and I met. 

Within 2 weeks I was green and throwing up everything!  I think I made it to work about 1/2 a day a week for the first 6 weeks...I was soon strapped with an IV backpack at home to keep me hydrated.  After dropping 14 lbs and feeling like death for 4 months the doctor's FINALLY figured out I had pregnancy induced hyperthyroidism.  AWESOME, I got the drugs I needed and felt GREAT!!!  Three short weeks later (at 19 weeks) I was hospitalized for 3 days with preterm labor.  Having Magnesium to stop the labor goes into my book as one of the top 3 worst experiences EVER!  (But it worked, so, of course, I'm greatful1)  I spent the next 4 1/2 months on my couch with 2-3 more trips to labor and delivery.  My doctors promised me they would take me off bed rest at 36 weeks.  We went to the doctor and had amazing plans to eat at San Jose' and then go to the movies....NOPE.  The ultrasound showed that Baby B (Logan) had lost weight and after a few consultations with the specialist, they decided the girls would develop better in the NICU then inside of me.  We were shocked, they would not even let us go home to pack a suitcase.  That was Thursday, June 29.   After 2 1/2 days of pitosin, pain and sheer insanity at 5:00 pm on Saturday night they decided to do a c-section.   (We will get to that fact later!)  Lawson was born first at 4lbs 8oz and Logan 1 minute later at 4lbs 1oz.  They were sent to the NICU and spent the next 2 weeks there.  I had a difficult c-section, lost a lot of blood, and had to be put to was 24 hours before I was able to see my babies and longer before I was able to hold them.   Thankfully, after a rocky first night, they thrived.  Logan came home first.  It was an exciting day to bring her home, but as a mom, it was excruciating to leave Lawson behind.   But as you know....11 years later they are perfectly healthy.  

Back to the c-section...I will never understand why I had to lay in bed, threatened by my doctors to stay flat on my back only to end up having 2 1/2 days of pitocin and jogging laps around the labor and delivery floor and NOTHING....those girls were not going anywhere, instead they had to be cut out.  OK, that is my rant, and now I will go back to the silver lining of my beautiful healthy girls.   I must also add that we have the best friends and church in the world.  They fed me, cleaned my house, drove me to doctors appointments and even spent the night with me when Brantlee had to go out of town.   

A special thanks to my friends who would indulge my craving by bringing me subway sandwiches with nothing but lettuce, a ton on pickles, mayo, salt & pepper.   A funny memory as a new mommy, Lawson and Logan slept from July to January in their swings on high, in the den, watching CMT all night long.  I was sure I was causing serious damage but every time I confessed this sin to their doctor he said it was fine.  He would say, "you are in survival mode, do whatever works to get you all some sleep."  My 2002 New Year's Resolution was to get them out of their swings and into their beds... I kept it!

Onto Clay, our HUGE ENORMOUS SURPRISE BLESSING!!!  Lawson and Logan had just turned one and life was getting a bit more manageable.   I had been feeling horrible for a few days and decided to go to the doctor.  They did a pregnancy test, which I thought was COMPLETELY STUPID!!    I was alone in the examining room with the door shut.  I could hear the nurse and doctor outside talking...I heard, "her test was positive."  By the time the doctor came in I was BAWLING...uncontrollably!  She came in all smiles and immediately looked at me and said, "Oh sweety, are you not married anymore?"  HAHAHA.....What???  Yes???   I got Lawson and Logan's one year picture out of my wallet, held it up and said, "Do you see this, they are ONE, I can't do this again!!!"  Oh, and how many are in there??  I was terrified of another horrible pregnancy and how I would manage Lawson and Logan.  Somehow I made it home.  When Brantlee got home and found me curled up in a ball crying on the sofa he simply said, "We're pregnant aren't we?"  I became hysterical and he just laughed and thought it was great....what's one more????   That same day my sister gave birth to her baby boy. 

As with the girls, I was sick as a dog.  I managed.  I usually had a burst of non-nauseating energy around 11:00 every night.  I would get plates out and cut up nutrigrain bars into tiny squares, dice ham and grapes, put goldfish in baggies...cover all this with Saran wrap and put it in the frig for the next day.  When the girls woke up I would lock then in the den with the dogie gates and for breakfast crawl to the frig for the nutrigrain bars put them in the middle of the den floor, waaalaaa--breakfast, lunch, grab the plate of ham and grapes and the baggies during the day for snacks.  I would lay on the sofa ALL DAY LONG!    This is exactly where I was and what I was doing on September 11, 2001.  I watched it first hand all day, everyday for months...

I hit some all time (funny) lows while pregnant with Clay...there were a few (ok, alot of) morning I simply poured the box of Cheerios into their baby beds and went back to bed myself.  They would talk to each other for hours and play.  God was watching over us and helped us all get through!   I craved Mrs. Edwards Lemon Pie and Bluebird cream cheese danishes.  I also REALLY, REALLY craved Steak & Shake cheeseburgers.   I always threw them up but I ate them anyway.  I would muster the energy to strap L&L in their car seats, drive the short distance to Steak & Shake, stuff my face between there and home, leave the girls in the car, run inside, throw up and then go back and get them out of the car.  Thinking back, pregnancy really made me half insane, always irrational and mostly stupid! 

The day Clay was born "Aunt Linda" took the day off work to keep the girls so our parents could be with us at the hospital.  We had to be there at 5:30 but got bumped a few times.  Clay was not born until 10:26.  He was perfect.  The girls went home with Brantlee's parents and mom stayed with us for the first week.  At one week I went to have the staples removed and the incision opened...this was the start of a small little nightmare...I ended up with a home health care nurse coming to my house twice a day for 2 weeks cleaning and packing the c-section incision (GROSS!!!)  I was a hormonal wreck.  Because of the incision, the doctors wanted me to try not to be around people and especially Lawson and Logan for fear of getting a staff infection.  Our parents swapped Lawson and Logan back and forth for the next 3 weeks.   I missed them so much!!!  I cried all the time and was so ready for us all to be together and start our lives as a family of 5.   Soon after...we did!!

Fast forward 4 years and 2 houses was the last day of Spring break.  We came home to our 2001 Robinhood home.   We had been at the beach and Brantlee brought home some fish he caught.  I was starting laundry and piddling around the house when I got a whiff of the fish he was cooking and immediately ran to the bathroom and threw up.....the one child we actually planned was on her way.....and yes it was another green, toilet hugging pregnancy.  (The tale must be true, you do forget about your previous pregnancies or nobody in their right mind would ever do it again!!!  Thank you God for the capability to forget!)  We had (unfortunately) planned and paid for a trip to Disney...I think I rode It's A Small World and Peter Pan.  Other than that, my time was spent on benches or in the bathroom...God is good...I truly don't know how I survived that one.  I would cover my eyes while the children were spinning on the Tea Cups and Carousel....uuggghhh....oh, I did the Jungle Cruise and the Tree House.   I actualy begged a family I did not know that was in line with us to let Clay ride with them since they only had one child.  Pretty low....I know!!!

At this point, Lawson and Logan were in school all day and Clay was at PDS from 9:00-1:00.  I stayed in bed most of the time they were at school.  This was when Clay began his love affair with Lego's and Power Rangers.  I ordered a "lot of 15" used Power Ranger movies off eBay and would pull one out at a time when he was tired of the last one.  He would watch movies and play Lego's happily and quietly everyday from 1:00-3:00.    By 6 months I was feeling good and I was so thankful!!!  I had a discussting craving of Marshmallow cream and cheese Doritos...I actually dipped the Doritos in the marshmallow cream.  I kept a jar of it on my bed side table.  The good side of vomiting the first 6 months of pregnancy is that my weight was never an issue....haha.

On November 28, we were on our way to Pheobe.  I remember being ticked at Brantlee for stopping by McDonald's at 6:00 am coming out with yummy smelling coffee and a sausage biscuit.  I think my exact quote was, "In less than an hour I will be having a needle shoved in my spine and my gut sliced open....and you are going to eat at a time like this!!!"  Turns out, I'm glad he did, he got pretty queasy during little E's delivery.  Dr. Smurda said, "stand up daddy, look!"  Well, only her head was out...not what Brantlee thought he was about to see."   She was perfect!  We were home in a few days and life was smooth...for 2 weeks...until the Friday of Christmas holidays.  Lawson came home from school with a high fever and was diagnosed with the Flu.   My pediatrician asked me to take Evelyn to my parents.  I was horrified...I went to Quincy, crying on the phone to Amy the whole way, Clay got the flu too....Brantlee was home with 3 kids, 2 of them sick, trying to finalize his year end sales and I was a helpless, heap, of a crying basket case in Quincy.  I wanted to be with Lawson and Clay so bad but did not want to quit nursing Evelyn and leave her at mom's...I was torn apart!  I thought we were not going to be together as a family for Christmas.  The doctor wanted the whole crew fever free for 3 days before Evelyn and I returned.  We ended up getting back together on Christmas Eve at Brantlee's families house.  It was a happy day for me!!!

I love the four of you so have one emotional mom...looking back, getting you here was such a preivilge and exciting journey with God's hand on us all the are my heart and soul....I try to live everyday as a gift and not a guarantee...what an adventure these last 11 years have been.

April 26, 2012
Lawson & Logan - 11
Clay - 10
Evelyn -5

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

A mom's opinion

This is a letter I sent to the football organization Clay played under last fall.   I hope my FB friends will read this, especially if you have a son.   If anything, I hope it peaks your interest and you will do your own research of the dangers of football in young children.  Football is dangerous....but I am pretty sure it will not matter until it personally affects your family.  I just want my opinion heard....

The Children's football program has been heavy on my heart. This is  not an attack or a finger pointing letter, it prayerfully comes from a  mom with a sick child.  After praying about this for months and       watching Clay struggle I just want my opinion heard.  What readers do with it, will be up to them.   I am not against kids playing football, I just want parents to make informed decisions and for precautions to be put into place in order to make the game as safe for our kids as possible. 

Since Clay's concussion I have spent countless hours reading and researching concussions and more importantly second impact syndrome (SIS.)  (The statistics are alarming in young  children!!!!) I'm just a mom, not a physician or sports  trainer.  I signed my child up to play football because that is what he wanted to do.  I bought a used helmet and pads.  It never crossed my mind to think anything more than bruises or a possible broken bone would happen to him.  The night of the concussion  he asked to go back into the game.  I whole heartily believe  that if a teammates wonderful dad (I wish I knew his name,  who used to commentate the arena football in Albany) had not told him he should sit out, we would be dealing with a completely different situation here.

Clay missed close to 5 full weeks of school and eventually went back 1/2 days  until he could handle the full day.  When he did make it through the full days of school he would lay on the sofa until bed time.  We are still under the care of Dr. Trasmonty, in Macon, a  pediatric neurologist .  We go back next week for another appointment.  Since the concussion, Clay has been on a low dose       antidepressant which helps calm the central nervous system helping with the headaches.  He has had to drop out of his challenge groups at school due to the amount of work and headaches.  The harder he concentrates the more often the headaches.  He has always been an A student.  Now,  depending on how much sleep he has and how his head is feeling his grades have slipped (which is the least of my worries.)  He used to get in bed at night and read 30-40 pages in his AR book. Now, he can only read around 10 pages.  To see Clay you would not see a thing wrong with him.  He is non-stop motion and action, all boy and then some, riding his bike, shooting baskets, ripstiking, ziplining, climbing trees....he appears normal.  But as his mom, let me assure you, he is not.  He was easily upset, has       trouble with focusing for long periods of time, and still has headaches and trouble sleeping. 

I know this is not the worse case scenario but for us it has been a hard 5 months. 

With Clay's injury the ambulance never came over, nobody called  it.  I was told I could take him home and 5 minutes down the road I realized how sick he was, dizzy, screaming from a headache.  We went straight to the ER where he failed the cognitive test and was sent  directly for an MRI.  It wasn't until the next day that I found out  paramedics were on sight?  There seemed to be a breakdown of communication between coaches/trainers/paramedics.  Again, I am not pointing a finger anywhere.  I am mostly angry at myself  for not insisting more be done.  

Another very dangerous aspect to all of this is that the children want to play.  The players "lie" and shake off their injuries so they can get back out through the pain...which when you are       dealing with a head injury, playing through the pain can be fatal.

I have prayerfully thought about what a mom like me can do...but I have to speak my peace. I feel so passionately that parents are not MISINFORMED but UNINFORMED and as the organization providing the activity there needs to be something my humble opinion.

My thoughts are...
A mandatory parent meeting, explaining safety equipment, getting a helmet fitted properly (not buying it off Craig's list, like we did.)      
A quick explanation of concussion symptoms, how to recognize them and the fatal danger of SIS. 
A paramedic always on campus during games and called for all head injuries. 
The term "bell ringer" should be forever changed to mild brain injury.
If possible, there may be athlete's parents in the medical profession that could volunteer to "stand-by" at practices.


Ramsey Lawrence
2526 Pheasant Drive
Albany, GA 31707
229 886       3332


Sunday, November 6, 2011

Its been a while

I have started a few blog entries that I have never finished because the events of life come and stop me mid-thought...I am not sure where I was going with any of them but I like to look back at where we were and what was going on...we have come a long way in 6 weeks...thankful, thankful...

Start of week 2 of Clay's concussion...
Having a sick child is nothing new to any mother out mom is exempt from the worries we face! I give my worries to God but I am weary. To hear your child cry out in their sleep in pain is heart breaking. You jump up, run to their side and they are asleep. Thankful that the pain did not wake them up, you ease back in bed, just to hear it again and again. The gray circles under Clay's eyes reveal a lack of restful sleep and your day starts...and there is no make up in the world to make me appear rested!

I know God is in control of this situation and I am trying DESPERATELY to trade in my worrying ways for prayer. I think I have fallen sound asleep the past 12 nights praying. I love falling asleep is peaceful...until you wake up to the moans and cries of your child and you start the cycle over again.

In my prayers I count my blessing one by one. Boy, am I blessed with an incredible husband that loves me, loves our children and is the Christian leader of our home. I count that blessing first. Then I pray for each one of our children. Everyone thinks their kids are awesome....I feel no different! Each one of them are special, different....

Start of Clay's 3rd week out of school
WOW....Happy Monday
Wake up at 4:00 am when Brantlee's alarm goes off. He has a 6:00 am flight out of Albany this morning....this is his 13th flight in 3 is getting a little old. BUT...after this week there are no trips on his calendar for a while. After getting Brantlee out the door, I lay back down but never go back to sleep.  After laying awake for close to 3 hours I hear a loud crash and about 20 seconds later a scream! My first thought was...oh what?  It was Evelyn, she fell out of her bed and knocked her eye on her bedside table. I got her to my bed screaming, settled her down, turned on the light and see a huge goose egg.

At this moment I have a choice to make. I can crawl under the covers and dread the rest of my day (which lately has been my go-to behavior)...feeling sorry for myself that I have been up for 3 hours, Brantlee is gone, yet another week, Evelyn now has a black eye and Clay is not getting any better, and it is only 6:45...or....I can get up and get moving. I make a very conscious decision to not let the past 3 hours set the stage for my week. 

I head to the kitchen turn my ipod on as loud as I can and wake up the rest of the house.  We have tried many ways to wake up the children. We have the standard alarm clock or sitting on their bedside rubbing their heads telling them nicely to get up. When that does not work I sing to them, "it's time to get up, up, up open your eyes..." They HATE that.  I love to send Clay upstairs and let him beat the heck out of Lawson's drums. That always ends very badly but is too funny to resist sometimes. This morning I go with our other option....blare my ipod in the kitchen while making breakfast..

Last week...
Well, I think it has been a month or so since I last blogged...I am now blogging because my To Do list it way to long to deal with.  This seems to be the better option.  I need to make soup for the LPE teachers and we are having Brantlee's customers over for dinner tomorrow night.  Most items on my list have to do with cooking and cleaning.  My other items are "fun" things like thank you notes, returning clothes to the mall and finishing laundry.  Blogging is definitely a better option.

We have had a very eventful month.  We have traveled to Pensacola for my cousins wedding, to Live Oak for Brantlee's 20th class reunion and to Atlanta for fall break and a concert.  I am never sure what possess us to pack up and go so much.  We love being home but sometimes I think we love the road more.  The children are great travelers.   Don't get me wrong, some trips are horrendous and Brantlee and I swear to talk each other out of doing it again.  But, inevitably, we pack up and go again and again and again. 

At Liz's wedding we had so much fun showing LLCE around UWF campus in Pensacola.  We parked in the South side dorm parking lot and showed the children where their daddy and I met.....told them how he was carrying his comforter and a box of GAIN.  I knew then, a man that could do laundry was a keeper.  We showed them which dorm he and Mr. Russell lived in and which one Sam and I were in.  We walked to the ADPi dorm and the Commons.   I felt pretty was a feeling of nostalgia...sad but happy, missing those days but so thankful for the family and life I have now.  The last thing we did was head to the book store where I bought a UWF tag and UWF Tervus tumbler.  The tag on my car makes me laugh every time I see it.   Argonauts???  What is an Argonaut and why is there a sea shell on your tag?   UWF was not the most famous college around but it was a blast!!! 

As for today, November 6, 2011, life is good.  I guess we will always have ridiculous things happen in our family, the latest being Clay's trip to the optometrist (Tuesday) after his glow stick broke and squirted the glowing liquid in his eye....things like that I am guessing we will never be exempt from...But for now we are good.  The kids all have company  and are playing soccer in the front yard, Brantlee will be home this week and Clay has been back in school for 2 weeks.  He feels good most of the time.  He would say he is 80% back to normal.   He no longer has a constant headache, which is great.  The only issues we have now are headaches after a lot of reading and concentration and after playing for a long period of time.   I am ready for him to be 100% but am so thankful at how much he has improved.    We head back to the neurologist in Macon on Thursday and to spend the weekend with Amy...along with a Reckless Kelly concert for my birthday, Friday night...should be another good week for the Lawrence's.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Half Full

What a wonderful fall break!

Thursday morning the kids slept in as Brantlee and I enjoyed a few cups of coffee on the back porch...the weather was perfect. Early morning, cool, crisp air with beautiful blue skies! Soon we heard footsteps emerging on us. Four sweet sleepy eyed kids so excited to be headed to Cumming to visit their cousins. After convincing them to let us finish our last cup of coffee it was game on...get dressed, rush around, pack, feed the cat...and we are off!

While we had lunch in Columbus, Brantlee asked me how I would feel about driving through Atlanta. (Haven't we been married for 15 years...doesn't he know I HATE driving through Atlanta?) With a little bit of attitude I responded, "if you needed to work on the way up, couldn't you have at least done it between Albany and Columbus?"   Little did I know he had a Lawrence side adventure in mind. (Why was a surprised?  This is Brantlee. Of course he did.) Then came his "great" plan. He wanted me to drop the 5 of them off at the Atlanta airport and let them ride Marta to the North Springs exit. ARE YOU CRAZY? WHAT ? WHY? And in true Brantlee fashion, he responded, Why not?   It would be a fun new experience for children... interesting, entertaining and a bit educational. Well okay! I dropped them off and white knuckled it through downtown. The kids thought it was great. They jumped back in the car and started telling me about it all at the same time. Who knew Marta could be so fun? And as always, they tell me how "cool" and "awesome" their daddy is! 

The children were thrilled to be at their cousins house and I was extremely happy to be out of the car. Amy and I had a great time catching up...enjoying the weather on her porch. She was keeping the children for us Friday night. Brantlee and I had made plans to see Chris Knight at Smith's Old Bar. We left Friday morning and enjoyed a fun, kid free, day and night.  We met up with friends for lunch and dinner. It has been a long difficult 3 weeks of Brantlee traveling and me home with was so nice to have some time to ourselves.(Thank you, Aunt Amy!!!) Saturday morning we headed back to Amy's for a day and night of football, pool (in their AWESOME newly refinished basement) and grilling out!

Sunday morning rolled around and it was time to head south...back to reality! I was cranky and the children did not want to leave...this should be a fun ride home.   As we headed south on 75 the walls seemed to close in on me...I could feel the anxiety creeping up... we go again...Brantlee is flying to North Carolina tomorrow...gone all will Clay do this school...STOP...have a chat with God, readjust my attitude...I refuse to dread a week that has not even started...I am tired, yet refreshed from a nice relaxing's going to be positive...focus on all the thankful!!!  (I stop and wonder if other people talk to themeselves as much as I talk to myself?)

Is my glass going to be half empty or half full this week...I know the last 3 weeks it has been a toss-up depending on the hour or minute you asked me...but not this week, regardless of what we have going on, where Brantlee travels, or how Clay feels...this week, the glass is half full!

I am happy to report that as of right now, Clay is at school. I am half way through the laundry and my grocery list. This week is going to a good one!   Next weekend we are headed to Pensacola for Elizabeth's wedding. What a special time for her and our family. My glass may be completely full before this week is up!

Wednesday, October 5, 2011


Frustration:  The only word that comes to mind...
Oh, I know things will be okay, eventually, and that there are people with terminal illnesses, fighting battles with cancer, spouses headed off to troubles don't amount to a hill of beans compared to theirs...but to me, today, they feel like mountains...

The way it has all gone down...because the days are running together
September 15- Clay takes a hard hit in his football game.  "He is fine," says all the men on the field.  We head "mommy-dar" goes off...we head to the ER where they confirm a concussion.  Should be better in a few days.

September 16- Check in with Dr. Wahbeh like ER doctor told us too.   Clay is completely dazed and confused but he should be notably better by Monday.  We have a rough weekend. 

September 19 -We send him to school.  The doc said he would be better but not to return to activities for 2 week.   He returns from school and crumbles into pieces...terrible day, terrible headache. I now look back on my blog the day before...I knew something was wrong. I did not listen to my "mommy-dar" I knew better...I knew he was not right!

September 20- Go back to the doctor. Okay, the concussion is worse than we thought.  Stay home the rest of the week.  Take Tylenol with Codeine for the pain and sleeplessness.  Check in with him next Monday before sending him back.

September 26- 12 days after the concussion...head to Dr. Wahbeh's office, he walks in the room, takes one look at Clay and sends us to Macon to see a pediatric neurologist.  My little man is BEYOND miserable and my nerves are SHOT!

September 28- WOW, they got us in quick!  Brantlee, Clay and I head to Macon.  Meet with the specialist and are comfortable with the PCS diagnosis.  PCS is not very common but he assured us he would completely recover with no lasting problems.  The average recovery time is 4-8 weeks. (Deep breath.)  Okay...what about school? Try to send him one more time and if he can't handle it, hospital home bound him.   WHAT???  WHY???  The doctor explains to us that when you have PCS loud noises, bright lights, concentration, reading...all these things trigger headaches or make existing ones worse...WELL...that is a problem because noise, light, concentrating,

September 29- He lasted 45 minutes at school.  The teacher was holding him up as she walked him to me.  That's it....we are done.  Where is the paper work for HHB?

October 1 - PRAISE THE LORD....Clay is full of energy, running around the yard, walks with me to Lake Park to play, throws the football with the neighbors...outside all day...back to his old self. Brantlee and I were so happy and relieved!

October 2 - CRASH...miserable all through church, get home and his body never left the sofa. He can't be lured by a game of kickball, an offer to go fishing...nothing.   Can you say ROLLER COASTER?  Just the day before I was ready to throw the HHB papers away, send him to school.  What has happened?  Okay, Brantlee and I decide he over did it on Saturday and will bounce back and be ready for school on Monday. 

October 3- Not a chance...I fax the HHB papers to DOCO central office.   He did manage to play outside a few hours, my hopes soared that he was again turning the corner...but then...back in bed. 

Which leads me to today...the day of complete FRUSTRATION....I know this is a 4-8 week deal...but what was up with Saturday.  He cries wanting to go to school...he is so sick of this house and feeling miserable...he is tied up in knots with energy...

So, here I am, going to look for the positives, the blessings...
Positive-I have learned how to play 2 new board games and learned that I stink at them both!
Positive-Clay and I have had some special time talking, just sitting outside...the weather is AWESOME!
Positive-it is a short school week because of Fall break...only 3 days worth of make up work
Positive-I know in my heart that as my daddy has always said, "this too shall pass!"
Positive-I have talked to God a bit more than usual these past 3 weeks...