Thursday, April 26, 2012

For my children...

Today is Clay's 10th birthday.  Last night I was telling him what it was like to be pregnant with him. I was telling him what I was doing the night before he was born and how shocked we were to find out about him.  I realized that my memories were slipping and I wanted to write them down before I forgot all the funny, crazy and bazaar things that happened while I was pregnant with's long and if you are not one of my children, it may bore you....but here it I remember it....

Lawson & Logan's pregnancy...We lived in our first home, 510 Whippoorwill Road.  Russell Suber was coming to visit for the weekend.  I decided to take a pregnancy test before we went out to dinner and bowling.  It was negative so I poured myself a glass of wine.  Before we left the house, Brantlee went to the restroom.  I heard him yell my name.   I went to check on him and found him standing in the middle of the bathroom, holding the pregnancy test he had pulled out of the trash can.  It had turned positive...apparently I did not wait long what?    We went on with our weekend not wanting to say anything until we processed it ourselves or told our families.  As most of my friends know, I am an open book and have a terrible time keeping my mouth shut.  I was concerned Russell thought we were less then hospitable and basically acting like freaks most of the weekend, so of course I told him, he was the first to know.  It seemed right, after all, he is the reason Brantlee and I met. 

Within 2 weeks I was green and throwing up everything!  I think I made it to work about 1/2 a day a week for the first 6 weeks...I was soon strapped with an IV backpack at home to keep me hydrated.  After dropping 14 lbs and feeling like death for 4 months the doctor's FINALLY figured out I had pregnancy induced hyperthyroidism.  AWESOME, I got the drugs I needed and felt GREAT!!!  Three short weeks later (at 19 weeks) I was hospitalized for 3 days with preterm labor.  Having Magnesium to stop the labor goes into my book as one of the top 3 worst experiences EVER!  (But it worked, so, of course, I'm greatful1)  I spent the next 4 1/2 months on my couch with 2-3 more trips to labor and delivery.  My doctors promised me they would take me off bed rest at 36 weeks.  We went to the doctor and had amazing plans to eat at San Jose' and then go to the movies....NOPE.  The ultrasound showed that Baby B (Logan) had lost weight and after a few consultations with the specialist, they decided the girls would develop better in the NICU then inside of me.  We were shocked, they would not even let us go home to pack a suitcase.  That was Thursday, June 29.   After 2 1/2 days of pitosin, pain and sheer insanity at 5:00 pm on Saturday night they decided to do a c-section.   (We will get to that fact later!)  Lawson was born first at 4lbs 8oz and Logan 1 minute later at 4lbs 1oz.  They were sent to the NICU and spent the next 2 weeks there.  I had a difficult c-section, lost a lot of blood, and had to be put to was 24 hours before I was able to see my babies and longer before I was able to hold them.   Thankfully, after a rocky first night, they thrived.  Logan came home first.  It was an exciting day to bring her home, but as a mom, it was excruciating to leave Lawson behind.   But as you know....11 years later they are perfectly healthy.  

Back to the c-section...I will never understand why I had to lay in bed, threatened by my doctors to stay flat on my back only to end up having 2 1/2 days of pitocin and jogging laps around the labor and delivery floor and NOTHING....those girls were not going anywhere, instead they had to be cut out.  OK, that is my rant, and now I will go back to the silver lining of my beautiful healthy girls.   I must also add that we have the best friends and church in the world.  They fed me, cleaned my house, drove me to doctors appointments and even spent the night with me when Brantlee had to go out of town.   

A special thanks to my friends who would indulge my craving by bringing me subway sandwiches with nothing but lettuce, a ton on pickles, mayo, salt & pepper.   A funny memory as a new mommy, Lawson and Logan slept from July to January in their swings on high, in the den, watching CMT all night long.  I was sure I was causing serious damage but every time I confessed this sin to their doctor he said it was fine.  He would say, "you are in survival mode, do whatever works to get you all some sleep."  My 2002 New Year's Resolution was to get them out of their swings and into their beds... I kept it!

Onto Clay, our HUGE ENORMOUS SURPRISE BLESSING!!!  Lawson and Logan had just turned one and life was getting a bit more manageable.   I had been feeling horrible for a few days and decided to go to the doctor.  They did a pregnancy test, which I thought was COMPLETELY STUPID!!    I was alone in the examining room with the door shut.  I could hear the nurse and doctor outside talking...I heard, "her test was positive."  By the time the doctor came in I was BAWLING...uncontrollably!  She came in all smiles and immediately looked at me and said, "Oh sweety, are you not married anymore?"  HAHAHA.....What???  Yes???   I got Lawson and Logan's one year picture out of my wallet, held it up and said, "Do you see this, they are ONE, I can't do this again!!!"  Oh, and how many are in there??  I was terrified of another horrible pregnancy and how I would manage Lawson and Logan.  Somehow I made it home.  When Brantlee got home and found me curled up in a ball crying on the sofa he simply said, "We're pregnant aren't we?"  I became hysterical and he just laughed and thought it was great....what's one more????   That same day my sister gave birth to her baby boy. 

As with the girls, I was sick as a dog.  I managed.  I usually had a burst of non-nauseating energy around 11:00 every night.  I would get plates out and cut up nutrigrain bars into tiny squares, dice ham and grapes, put goldfish in baggies...cover all this with Saran wrap and put it in the frig for the next day.  When the girls woke up I would lock then in the den with the dogie gates and for breakfast crawl to the frig for the nutrigrain bars put them in the middle of the den floor, waaalaaa--breakfast, lunch, grab the plate of ham and grapes and the baggies during the day for snacks.  I would lay on the sofa ALL DAY LONG!    This is exactly where I was and what I was doing on September 11, 2001.  I watched it first hand all day, everyday for months...

I hit some all time (funny) lows while pregnant with Clay...there were a few (ok, alot of) morning I simply poured the box of Cheerios into their baby beds and went back to bed myself.  They would talk to each other for hours and play.  God was watching over us and helped us all get through!   I craved Mrs. Edwards Lemon Pie and Bluebird cream cheese danishes.  I also REALLY, REALLY craved Steak & Shake cheeseburgers.   I always threw them up but I ate them anyway.  I would muster the energy to strap L&L in their car seats, drive the short distance to Steak & Shake, stuff my face between there and home, leave the girls in the car, run inside, throw up and then go back and get them out of the car.  Thinking back, pregnancy really made me half insane, always irrational and mostly stupid! 

The day Clay was born "Aunt Linda" took the day off work to keep the girls so our parents could be with us at the hospital.  We had to be there at 5:30 but got bumped a few times.  Clay was not born until 10:26.  He was perfect.  The girls went home with Brantlee's parents and mom stayed with us for the first week.  At one week I went to have the staples removed and the incision opened...this was the start of a small little nightmare...I ended up with a home health care nurse coming to my house twice a day for 2 weeks cleaning and packing the c-section incision (GROSS!!!)  I was a hormonal wreck.  Because of the incision, the doctors wanted me to try not to be around people and especially Lawson and Logan for fear of getting a staff infection.  Our parents swapped Lawson and Logan back and forth for the next 3 weeks.   I missed them so much!!!  I cried all the time and was so ready for us all to be together and start our lives as a family of 5.   Soon after...we did!!

Fast forward 4 years and 2 houses was the last day of Spring break.  We came home to our 2001 Robinhood home.   We had been at the beach and Brantlee brought home some fish he caught.  I was starting laundry and piddling around the house when I got a whiff of the fish he was cooking and immediately ran to the bathroom and threw up.....the one child we actually planned was on her way.....and yes it was another green, toilet hugging pregnancy.  (The tale must be true, you do forget about your previous pregnancies or nobody in their right mind would ever do it again!!!  Thank you God for the capability to forget!)  We had (unfortunately) planned and paid for a trip to Disney...I think I rode It's A Small World and Peter Pan.  Other than that, my time was spent on benches or in the bathroom...God is good...I truly don't know how I survived that one.  I would cover my eyes while the children were spinning on the Tea Cups and Carousel....uuggghhh....oh, I did the Jungle Cruise and the Tree House.   I actualy begged a family I did not know that was in line with us to let Clay ride with them since they only had one child.  Pretty low....I know!!!

At this point, Lawson and Logan were in school all day and Clay was at PDS from 9:00-1:00.  I stayed in bed most of the time they were at school.  This was when Clay began his love affair with Lego's and Power Rangers.  I ordered a "lot of 15" used Power Ranger movies off eBay and would pull one out at a time when he was tired of the last one.  He would watch movies and play Lego's happily and quietly everyday from 1:00-3:00.    By 6 months I was feeling good and I was so thankful!!!  I had a discussting craving of Marshmallow cream and cheese Doritos...I actually dipped the Doritos in the marshmallow cream.  I kept a jar of it on my bed side table.  The good side of vomiting the first 6 months of pregnancy is that my weight was never an issue....haha.

On November 28, we were on our way to Pheobe.  I remember being ticked at Brantlee for stopping by McDonald's at 6:00 am coming out with yummy smelling coffee and a sausage biscuit.  I think my exact quote was, "In less than an hour I will be having a needle shoved in my spine and my gut sliced open....and you are going to eat at a time like this!!!"  Turns out, I'm glad he did, he got pretty queasy during little E's delivery.  Dr. Smurda said, "stand up daddy, look!"  Well, only her head was out...not what Brantlee thought he was about to see."   She was perfect!  We were home in a few days and life was smooth...for 2 weeks...until the Friday of Christmas holidays.  Lawson came home from school with a high fever and was diagnosed with the Flu.   My pediatrician asked me to take Evelyn to my parents.  I was horrified...I went to Quincy, crying on the phone to Amy the whole way, Clay got the flu too....Brantlee was home with 3 kids, 2 of them sick, trying to finalize his year end sales and I was a helpless, heap, of a crying basket case in Quincy.  I wanted to be with Lawson and Clay so bad but did not want to quit nursing Evelyn and leave her at mom's...I was torn apart!  I thought we were not going to be together as a family for Christmas.  The doctor wanted the whole crew fever free for 3 days before Evelyn and I returned.  We ended up getting back together on Christmas Eve at Brantlee's families house.  It was a happy day for me!!!

I love the four of you so have one emotional mom...looking back, getting you here was such a preivilge and exciting journey with God's hand on us all the are my heart and soul....I try to live everyday as a gift and not a guarantee...what an adventure these last 11 years have been.

April 26, 2012
Lawson & Logan - 11
Clay - 10
Evelyn -5