Monday, September 19, 2011

Now what...

Well, today is a typical Sunday.  Rush around trying not to "loose our religion" getting to church, make it to church, have a seat and be BLESSED by the music and sermon.  I love our church.  It sustains me. 

My options for today are endless.  I can get started on the MOUND of dirty, crusty dishes in the sink from last night.  Those poor dishes did not get done due to way too much football to watch.  I try not to go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink, but last night was an exception to that rule.  My other option for today is start folding the 5 baskets of clean laundry in my room that get more and more wrinkled by the minute...not to mention the 3 loads that are patiently waiting on the laundry room floor.  I could also go through my refrigerator, plan our menu for the week, check my calendar for what is coming up....Instead I find myself still sitting in the den by Clay...doing nothing...just hanging out with him like I have done since Thursday night. 

This poor child is bored out of his mind...rolling around on the sofa, tired of his DS, Ipod and television.  He can entertain himself for hours in the woods and in his tree house.   He would pick the outdoors over any type of technology any day.    More than anything, I just want him to feel better.   I know concussions are extremely common and a complete recovery is coming our why I am not wanting him to go to school, or leave my side?  I even hesitated leaving him in Sunday school this morning.   I have never been one to act on my over-protective-mom-neurosis...but today I am struggling.

I am usually sure when he is on a field trip that his bus will get in an accident, but I send him!
I am usually sure that when he is spending the night off that the house will burn down, but I send him!
Every morning that he leaves our driveway on his bike, headed to school, I think he is going get hit by a car.  But I let him get on his bike and go.

Some of my mom friends say they feel the same exact way, others say I need medication.  

With all these situations and my crazy over protective mind games, I pray...I pray all the time, little prayers, big prayers.  Not just for my children but for myself and my over abundance of fear.   I pray for balance.  Not long ago our pastor said something that I have not forgotten.  She said that fear can be a lack of faith.  I believe that whole heartedly

Clay is a very accident prone kid. We have had many visits to the orthopedist as well as the ER.  This last visit to the ER was the second trip to Palmyra that I truly feared the outcome.  To see him confused and in such pain was about too much.  Oh, I know there are people out there with much bigger health problems than ours and what we are going through is nothing compared to the mountains others have to climb.  But this is my thoughts.

But folks, it just does something to you when you see your child in a serious health crisis.  It shakes me to the core.  It makes me irrational and crazy.  Lawson came close to being hit by a car when she was 3 years old and it took me FOREVER to feel normal again.  

So between my irrational thoughts and my accident prone children...times like these are hard. 

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